Going through a divorce can be a difficult time for any family. For the spouses, it means working through a settlement with each other in order to determine details such as division of the assets and property, child custody, child support, alimony payments, and the like. As this process can be somewhat complicating, it is usually a decision the spouses have made in order to move on or improve their way of life. For whatever reason, marriages come to an end and divorces are that next step to moving forward. However, what you may not realize is that your children are going to be very much affected by this divorce, if not more so than you and your spouse.

For this reason, helping your children cope with the divorce is absolutely essential. As parents, it is your responsibility to do whatever you can to help the kids accept the changes and deal with life after their parents' divorce. No matter their age, divorce can be hard; so consider a few of these tips in order to help your children prepare and handle the divorce. First off, you want to sit down with the kids and explain that the divorce is not their fault. In many cases he children may struggle with that they did wrong and then blame themselves for their parent's field marriage. Don't let this be the case for them, sit down and discuss your marriage and divorce and while you don't have to give them the small details, be honest with them. Help them to see that the divorce is not their fault, and that no matter what they are still loved by their parents. Reassuring them of your love is very important, do this regularly.

Next, you want to make sure that you are not badmouthing your ex in front of the kids. A divorce will already cause them to feel torn, and letting them hear your rants about your ex is not going o help that. Encourage them to stay close with the other parent, and help them to see that you value their relationship with your ex. While there are some sad situations in which parents don't want to be involved in their kid's life, in most cases your ex loves the kids and wants to be involved. Let the kids know that you find this as being very important and that you are supportive of your exes parenting. You must remember, even though the wedding ring is gone, you will forever be parents together; act like it.

Another tip to consider is that your children are going to be feeling a wide range of emotions such as anger, frustration, bitterness, confusion, depression, etc. Remind them that these feelings are normal and that they should talk about them. Perhaps they don't want to sit down with either of the parents, let them know that there are people who can help them work through these feelings such as a religious counselor or a therapist or even a close family friend they trust. Consider establishing a new routine with your children that define the family in the new form, rather than constantly reminding them of what they used to do when mom and dad were together. Maybe this means having breakfast for dinner, or something simple; whatever it is help them to enjoy the times you have together.

After a divorce, remember that you are also going to be dealing with a lot of emotions and heartache; and stress. Don't forget that in order to help your children, you have to help yourself first. As they say when you are on a plane, make sure you put the air mask on yourself first; otherwise you will be useless to save your kids. Consider joining yoga or other exercise class; find a new hobby, go see a therapist yourself. Whatever it may be that helps you de-stress and move forward with your life is worth doing if you want to be an effective parent for the kids. Lastly, if and when the time comes that a new love comes into your life; consider the effects it will have on your children. This is a natural response after a divorce, to find a new love; however being sensitive to the kids is good too. Help your kids to see that they are important in your life, even when there is another person coming into the picture.

In the event you plan on getting a divorce, find a trusted attorney in your area for the legal representation that you need during this time.