You probably remember the painful or anger-filled day that you or your spouse chose to separate. Maybe he or she chose to move out of the bedroom, or maybe you packed your bags and left the house. Whatever the situation, every couple has a date of separation. However, in each state, your date of separation can vary.

For some jurisdictions, your date of separation is the day that you or a spouse determined that they were going to sleep in a different bed. Even if this bed was in the same house, ending the marital relationship in this way is considered the jurisdiction’s separation. That date would only remain if you have not been physically intimate with your spouse or slept with him or her since the day that you separated sleeping spaces.

In other states, the date of separation is the date that one spouse moved out of the home. For example, if you left in a rage and moved to a friend’s house, and did not return afterwards, this may be your date of separation. Like in the first date definition, if you have been physically intimate with your spouse since this day, or have moved back into the home, then you discounted your date of separation. Suggesting a temporary separation, which later evolved into a permanent one, is not considered a legitimate date of separation either.

For other jurisdictions, the date of separation can be the day you told your spouse that you wanted a divorce, or the day that he or she told you this. Declaring that you no longer wanted to be with your husband or wife connotes a desire for emotional and physical separation. Normally, one spouse can file for legal separation to help make things more official. However, a couple may still disagree on whether or not their marriage ended the day they said “I don’t love you anymore” or the day that the legal separation was official.

You will want to check with your family lawyer to learn more about which one of these separation dates is the one that you should use as the earmark in your relationship. Divorce attorneys have often dealt with a variety of cases and are well-equipped to help you arrive at an official separation date. Admittedly, determining this date is one of the more complicated aspects of divorce. This date will determine how long you stayed married, which will affect the length of your spousal support payments, among other things. A lot of the aspects of a divorce cannot even get started until the date of separation is declared.

Once you determine the date you separated, lock away that date in your memory. Many couples take their divorce in stride and don’t document the feuds, fights, and the dates that they complete steps in the process. However, your date of separation can end up determining volumes when it comes to property division in your divorce. This is because any assets, debts, and entities obtained before that date of separation may be susceptible to division.

Any assets, debts or entities obtained after the separation will probably be yours to use or deal with. If you can’t remember when you and your spouse separated according to the definition of separation in your jurisdiction, chances are that you may lose money to your spouse, or accumulate your ex’s debt. As well, you need to know your date of separation for the valuation of certain martial property assets. Some of these valuations may be determined based on the date of your trial, but other times a judge will request that important date. Get started determining this date as soon as possible to work towards an effective divorce.