It can be devastating to discover that your spouse has been having an affair. It can be even more frustrating to learn that that affair was funded with shared money from your account. When you are the victim of a paramour purchasing scheme, you naturally want to get your money back. In a sense, the role of an affair in your divorce procedure will be different depending on which state you live in.
In all 50 states, a divorcee can file for a no-fault divorce. This means that the divorce process will not blame one individual for the termination of the marriage. Any extramarital affairs will not play a role in determining the spousal support or alimony as well as the property division or child custody arrangements post-divorce.
Some states also recognize at-fault divorce. In these states one spouse can effectively file against the other, and will often secure extra benefits from the divorce due to the fact that he or she is the victim in the relationship. Many times the filer can claim divorce on grounds of cruelty, desertion, adultery, confinement in prison, or a physical inability to engage in sexual intercourse.
A rare law set up in seven states allows individuals to sue an ex spouse's lover for contributing to the termination of the marriage. This is called an alienation of affection tort. The torts are currently permitted in Illinois, New Mexico, South Dakota, Utah, Hawaii, Mississippi, and North Carolina. Specifically, North Carolina is a state where alienation of affection lawsuits are regularly pursued. There are about 200 lawsuits of this nature filed each year and in some cases clients have been able to achieve awards of over one million dollars.
While alienation of affection lawsuits are only permitted in these select states, in almost any state an ex-spouse can sue the other spouse for reimbursement of paramour costs. This is only permissible if the money came from a joint account or the offended spouse's account. He or she can then ask for compensation for those exact costs, without requesting punitive damages. It is important that ex-spouse's understand that these lawsuits are simply for reimbursement, and don't have to do with any of the emotional damages accumulated from the affair.
The reimbursement can include any money that was spent by the one spouse to fund his or her affair. For example, the costs of hotel rooms, a rental car, a home, dinners out, or other expenses related to the lover can be included. Some spouses will also sue for the travel costs that may have been included in continuing the affair. For example, if one spouse bought plane tickets to travel to a secret lover, than the other spouse may be able to get this money back.
The requesting spouse will need to prove that the purchases were all deceptive, and that he or she had no knowledge of the money's uses. Paramour relationships can often devastate a marriage. In some situations, even if the couple files a no-fault divorce, adultery can be used to prove that one spouse would not be a good parent to children that were produced in the marriage.
If your ex-spouse continued an affair, and you are now proceeding with a divorce, you will want a divorce attorney by your side. You may be able to negotiate with the courts and prove that you deserve spousal support and alimony or deserve to keep the children in your care while they are minors. You will want someone who is hardworking and convincing to assist you. Contact the firm today!