Is Divorce Actually Bad for Your Children?
Posted on Mar 22, 2013 11:48am PDT
Countless people have been saying over the years that divorce is going to screw up the children who have to suffer through the pains of watching their family break up. The question is though: How true can this really be? Are all children that are a product of divorce essentially messed up for the rest of their life because their parents chose to end a marriage? What many people don't realize is that very year there are 1.5 million children who enter into he split would of having their parents' divorce, it is not something that is uncommon. Today there is a high rate of divorce that is taking place, with nearly half of all married couples calling it quits at some point in their union. While there may be a small group of parents who don't care about their children in the event of a divorce, or at all, the majority of parents do have the wellbeing of their children as a high priority in life; which is why choosing to divorce may be a difficult decision.
What if you and your spouse are continually arguing and it has reached the point of just being ready to lead separate lives, and end the marriage. And yet, you realize that your children may be poorly affected by this divorce and so you wonder if you should endure the marriage just for their sakes. At the same time, the question of whether it is healthy for the kids to live in a home with constantly arguing parents, and perhaps a divorce would actually be more beneficial for them? Parents fear not—there is still hope!
Various research has shown that there is actually only a small group of children who truly suffer with severe emotional problems because of their parents' divorce, whereas the majority of children will move to a rapid recovery in a year or two. This is not to say that a divorce isn't going to be difficult for them, it will be. Everything in their life is going to change; they will go from one home to two, they will have dinners with mom or dad, they will have to pack up their belongings for each trip as they bounce back and forth. The list goes on of changes that they will experience, and it can be daunting to face. This is why the parent's role in the children lives is so crucial during the season of the divorce, reassuring your children of your love for them and guiding them through the process will make a huge difference in how they handle the divorce and suffer both short and long term from the split.
One study showed that in the wake of a divorce, children will experience a wide variety of emotions; one or all such as: anger, depression, severe anxiety, confusion, disbelief, and shock. While it can be hard to see your children walking through these struggles, these studies show that within a year or two they will start to settle into the changes and recover; only a small group of kids continue to suffer after this time frame. As parents, allowing them the opportunity to have an outlet for these emotions and fears is extremely beneficial. Perhaps have the kids talk to a trained religious counselor or a psychologist, or even a close adult friend so that they can express their feelings rather than just locking them away.
While a divorce may be hard on the family initially, time can heal many wounds. Pay close attention to your children during the divorce process in order to gage how they are handling the changes and do whatever you can to be there for them, during the divorce and in the many years of life to come. To find a divorce attorney in your area, check out our website for more information.