On average, child custody will be decided out of court, through negotiations or perhaps mediation. This is not always the case, however, and when child custody is up to a judge, there may be a child custody evaluation. This will happen if both parents decide to have one, or if the judge orders one anyway. Not only will it be invaluable to understand what you would face in the process, but it will also be helpful how to approach the situation so that it does not devolve into a custody battle, which will only inflict lasting harm on your children.

How does the evaluation work? In general, an evaluator assesses the situation through research and interviews, then he or she will write up a recommendation for the judge, outlining their suggestions for a child custody arrangement. This could include a report that gives recommendations for child custody and visitation, about therapy, how to respond to substance abuse issues in the family, and about how you and the other parent will need to handle conflict, etc. While this report is not legally binding, judges tend to draw heavily from it in making the final court order.

First off, the evaluator will be a professional in mental health, such as a psychologist, and one who is experienced in trying to come up with the ideal parenting plan for children in a divorce, then writing up these legal recommendations. In some cases, a judge may choose a "guardian ad litem" to take the place of an evaluator. While the evaluation would not be much different, instead of an evaluator there would be an attorney who is acting as the legal representative for the children.

So how does an evaluator get chosen? Sometimes, it is as simple as the judge deciding. At other times, a judge may select two or three different evaluators, and you might be able to choose whom you want, or you may be allowed to eliminate one of them as an option. You and your soon-to-be ex might be allowed to choose an evaluator that one of your attorneys recommends. Now if you have any choice in the matter, you do not want to talk with any evaluators yet; instead you can ask your lawyer for information about them. You can find out about their experience, especially if you want to see if an evaluator has experience with your specific issue, such as creating a parenting plan for special needs children. Now if you and the other parent want an evaluation but do not want the same evaluator, you can each have your own evaluator so that the two recommendations can be compared. However, one evaluator is already enough when it comes to a hefty price tag. If the evaluator works for the court, then this could mean a fee of $1,000 to $2,500. Private evaluators can cost upwards of $10,000.

How the evaluation plays out is that you and the other parent will each have three scheduled interviews with the evaluator, and then each child could be interviewed one or two times as well. The evaluator will likely want to have time to see each child interact with each parent in certain settings as well. They will also need to do research, examining your court file, getting records and testimony from physicians, teachers, therapists, etc. An evaluator may also want each child and each parent to have psychological testing; if the evaluator is already a psychologist they may conduct the tests for themselves.

If you have any problems with how the evaluation is proceeding, then speak to your attorney as soon as possible, because you need to act before the report is given to the judge. For example, if you are being asked inappropriate questions, or if you perceive a bias, then you need to voice your concerns before the judge sees a report that does not favor you. Otherwise a judge may simply view your concerns has a complaint for not getting what you had hoped for.

Once you look over the evaluator's report, you should consult your attorney. Even if you do not agree with everything, if you can countenance the overall parenting plan, then it may very well be best to simply accept this report. If you want to take the issue to court, you could end up with a worse parenting plan, and this could drag your children through a nasty custody battle. Unfortunately, this could still happen if your spouse disagrees with the evaluator's recommendations, so you will need a lawyer who will be able to handle your case in trial, just in case. The good news is that most divorces are not settled in trial, and that with the help of an experienced family law attorney, you and your family may be able to create the divorce settlement that you deserve outside of the courtroom.